Diagonals & Rollbacks

This is from last week, where we were practicing jumping angles and rollbacks (as you can see from the title) and Wolfgang did very well! We were in a jumping clinic with Canadian eventer Jane Stone, and we practiced angles so Wolf and I are pretty good at them because we...or at least I learned loads! Between each jump was two strides, then a roll back to jumps 4/5. We could decide how narrow or wide to make the turn, the wider it is, the steeper the angle. Listening to what K was telling some of the other riders in the lesson is that you want to look to the far side of the jump (aiming for the middle), because the riders instinctively want to look at the closest side while the horse is looking at the far side, this way you both look at the same thing and you do not jump ahead of their motion thinking they are taking off when there is still a stride left!
We also went once through the line with our eyes closed, which was a bit scary but not as bad as I was anticipating. I'm not sure why I thought it would be so bad, we have already jumped without stirrups and without reins!...as long as she doesn't try putting all three of those things together...

For our warm up portion we practiced lots of lateral work, which Wolfie did very well at both the trot and the canter! For being an old grandpa horse, he can be pretty agile.

No lesson this week, the roads are too bad tonight to go out, but hopefully they will be better by Saturday for a lease ride. I'm hoping to do a little bit of no stirrup work!

Wolfgang has been doing pretty well these last couple weeks, although it has gotten pretty cold, which I think is making him a little stiffer than usual, so now we are doing longer, gentler warm ups with more walking/walk breaks, large circles etc. Still, he doesn't seem to bothered by the weather, but it helps he gets to stay inside at night.

We are still working on collection, K gave us another option to help get him to drop his head. Basically you go on a nice circle at the trot and gently bring your inside hand back towards your shoulder, which pulls his head in, and after a couple steps you give back the rein. It usually only takes a couple of those and he remembers what to do. Hopefully we will get to the point where just a light squeeze on the inside rein will be enough of a signal. Have to keep lots of leg on so he stays on the circle and doesn't just collapse in on his shoulder. He's very good about being on the contact at the walk but at the trot he's just like 'nope, I'ma be a giraffe and run around with my head in the air so I don't have to use my back and actually work'.  But slowly, very slowly, we are getting better.

Jumping is going pretty well, we are riding with N again so that means we usually get to do some higher jumps that we might otherwise. We usually have at least one 2'9" on the course. We've been doing some bounces, combinations and jumping on an angle (which Wolf and I are pretty good at, thanks to our Jane Stone clinic last winter). This past Thursday we had a triple combination that K has do with out reins and it wasn't that bad actually. The first time through with out reins Wolfgang was like 'f this shit' and ran out to the right (since the jumps were flush against the wall on the left). But he jumped nicely without any contact. Second time, I had my right hand in his mane and left by his neck ready to grab the rein if it felt like he was going to run out but he didn't. K said that pretty much every horse all week jumped better when the riders dropped the reins, which isn't much of a surprise.

A couple months ago I was having a weird problem with my ankles, mostly the left one, where it felt really weak and like it was going to roll out to the side. No matter how little or how much weight I had on it, how far down my heels were or how my foot was in the stirrup. It was not fun, it actually made it really hard to concentrate and jump properly because I was so worried about my ankle getting hurt. So one week I ended up just dropping my stirrups to jump and it wasn't bad at all actually. In fact it was our best round of the night, I wish I'd got a video of it! But it's been better lately, I've got a couple stretches that are meant to help tighten up the tendons on the outside of my ankle and they have helped a lot.

I won't be back out to the barn until Thursday for our next lesson and then Saturday's are our new lease ride day :)

Wolfgang, You Are NOT a Giraffe (Max. Frustration)

Making another attempt to start blogging regularly again, hopefully it will help keep track of the progress (or lack of) that Wolf and I make during our time together.

Wolfgang is about 19 now, and it's very important that he learns to collect/go on the bit consistantly and actually use his back end, not just hold his neck and head nicely. Unfortunatly, his tiny frontal lobes don't understand my rational exlpantations of this, nor does he like listening when being asked to collect. Grrr. It's very frustrating. Quite frankly, he should have learned this a long time ago, and I think he did, but then being a bit of a lesson horse for less experienced people, he got a way without doing it. And it's not like collection is something important to chuck wagon horses, which is what he was before. He can get it at the walk with just the slightest request and go quite nicely, even the sitting trot he is fairly consistant, which is great. The problem is the worst at the posting trot and the canter. In my last lesson two weeks ago, we put him on a small cirlce with outside leg and rein to balance and inside leg to push is body out and lots of inside rein to basically pull his head around to the inside, until he gave in an dropped his head and then he was asked to go forward and large around the ring with consistant contact. It worked, but was frustrating for the both of us, he responded much better on my lease ride after this lesson, he really seemed to figure out what to do after a few intense circles, he would go very well, lose it and then if he didn't collect again when asked, and I went to go put him back on a small cirlce, he would drop his head and collect properly right away. Too bad it didn't work very well at all this past Sunday. Although I'm not totally surprised by this, I missed my lesson before this ride (thank you university) and consistancy is key. I literally tired everything I could think of to get him to drop his head and tuck his nose, but he just wouldn't for more than a few steps after a circle. I had trot poles out, we did lots of those, lots of upward and downward transitions and no luck at all. Even asking him to trot with next to no contact, my hands were literally at the buckle of the reins, obviously this didn't work at all, he just rushed around on the forehand, so that didn't last very long, but I had been hoping with a longer rein he would be more keen to drop down his head. Even if I was off his back in the two point he wouldn't. UGH. But, I have a make up lesson tonight, thank god, so hopefully K will have some good advice to help us out.

And when he won't collect it has an impact on everything else that  I had been hoping to work on with him. Mainly collection, and then really good quality transitions of all kinds. Trot to canter is a big one for us to work on, I've actually got him doing some very good walk to canter transitions but this has resulted in negelecting our trot/canter ones and the past while he has been getting a very rushy trot before cantering and this is no good because you arent very likely to get a nice canter out of a shitty trot. Then we also work on canter/walk, he can get them, but they aren't yet consistant. What we do is get a nice canter and then get on a small, balanced cirlce and keeping on leg, ask him to walk, sometimes I even say "walk" out loud and he gets lots of praise for getting close and a nice long walk on a loose rein if he gets it! It's so exciting when he does get them, I'm looking forward to being able to practice canter/walk on a larger cirlce or in the corners of the ring eventually! On Sunday we also got some very nice trot/halt transitions, but they all would have been so, so much better if he had had a more balanced and uphill movement.

But hopefully todays lesson will help us both out!

Ow!

Had a jumping lesson yesterday, we were practicing bounces. Wolf and I don't have a very good record if bounces. I'm pretty sure the first time I fell off him was over a bounce too. The video is actually pretty funny. Unfortunately, I pulled my groin and hurt my knee! Hopefully it heels enough to be able to ride in the clinic this weekend! 

Besides that things with wolf are going well, we've been working on haunches in and counter canter. His right counter canter is really good, but the left needs work. It takes him to long to listen and I don't get his butt to the wall enough. So that's something else to work on during free rides. I hope I can ride more in the summer, it's really crappy only having on extra ride a week and trying to fit in all the things I want to work on! 

Sort of Something New

Well, I guess I won't be switching straight to dressage. At least not any time soon, which I'm kind of disappointed about actually. What we are going to do is keep jumping, but when the other lady I ride with can't make the lesson we will do dressage. But I want to do real dressage, not just English equitation. 

Yesterday's lesson was jumping and it went pretty good, we didn't do as much flat work as we had on Tuesday. Although the course went better. This week we were practicing a hunter equitation style course. 

For flat work on Tuesday we did some no stirrups flat work, including posting trot, which I've been working on lease rides and there has been significant improvement in how long I can post without stirrups for! Finally, progress in something! Eventually we will get to two point without stirrups...eventually. We also cantered over a small cavalletti with no stirrups, again something Wolf and I have worked on before, so it went quite well. Go us! The worst part by far was doing flat work with only the left stirrup. Going in the straight edges was fine, but corners and circles, not so much. I have to work on my core... Luckily we didn't have to jump like that. 

The hunter course was pretty good, we picked up the canter from the sitting trot well, got the tight inside turn and even got the slice to the oxer a couple times. Other times I chickened out and followed a bending line. It would be ridden as a bending in a regular hunter course but you get more points for doing more difficult lines in equitation, so riding a bending straight would be what you'd probably want to do. As for leads, sometimes we'd get them and sometimes we wouldn't which was frustrating but mostly my fault for not looking in the air. 

My eq was not so great either, I've shortened my stirrups so maybe that will help, but holy crap, my lower leg just will not stay still, it's ridiculous!! I hate watching videos of myself riding because that's all I see. No one else I ride with seems to have that problem, it's also frustrating that dispit all my no stirrup work, that hasn't improved. 

I don't know what else to do to help fix it though. I ride with my heels down well on the flat but not so much over jumps :(

Such A Coward?!

Yes, I'm still here and still riding Wolfgang. We've been doing quite well. At the start of January I had what I initially considered a "therapeutic" fall off Java, it had helped with these strange nerves I've been having when it comes to jumping and I have to constantly tell myself things like "they aren't that high" (seriously, they're like 2'6" maybe 2'9") or "you've jumped way higher". Like it don't understand what my problem is?! Maybe Wolf just doesn't inspire confidence they way Java and Pony do because with them it's like you're going over no matter what. But that makes it sound like he's a dirty stopper, which he certainly isn't. So I don't know.

I just texted K earlier today to ask about trying dressage for a while. Just to switch things up and try something different. She said we can try it tomorrow, if the other lady doesn't make it to our lesson, otherwise she'll keep the jumps lower. My god that is so pathetic. 

But yeah, that's all that's new right now.

Fix Your Position

For the past two lessons K has filmed the jumping for some of us, which is great because I don't often get to see what I look like when I ride. I'm a bit disappointed by it to be honest, so I'm not going to post any of it. I must be pinching with my knees and not realizing it because my lower leg doesn't stay still over the jumps, it swings forward and back. K hasn't said anything about it, so I'm going to ask her if there's things I can do during lease rides to work on it.
You would surely think, after so many years jumping the same heights, I would have a decent leg?

The other thing we have to work on is getting him on the bridle at the trot, because he often gets inverted/carries his head like a giraffe, not quite as bad as Zander though. He gets it every once in a while but doesn't carry it for very long.

Our next lesson is scheduled for Saturday morning provided the weather and work don't ruin it.

Saturday Lesson

Wolfgang doesn't seem to be much of a morning horse, when you go to catch him out in the fields he will run away unless you bring cookies. Which I've done for the past few weeks but forgot this time, luckily he was expecting them and came over so I didn't have to wade through the snow after him. Even though he got a few as soon as we got in the barn he will probably remember that I forgot last time and run off again. It's so much nicer to go in the evening when he's inside already. He won't usually avoid being caught in the afternoons.

He was pretty good for the most part, he went on the bridle decently going to the right but we will definitely have to work on going to the left.
A lot of what we need to work on is over fences, such as me keeping my eyes up properly and not looking at the ground over his ears and really keeping my shoulders back because I seem to hunch them a bit when jumping.
The other thing I really, really need to work on is my back strength because I've not got very much (!!!) so that will mean a few planks and super mans everyday to get on top of that. It's easy to feel when jumping long courses, practicing holding the two point around the ring or doing things like up-up-down trotting.

Unfortunately, the roads are terrible tonight so I didn't get to go to the barn, we've got at least a foot of snow today. Hopefully I'll be able to make it out on Wednesday though.

K pointed out that Wolf tends to get a bit "luggy" when going on the flat so setting up trot and canter poles might be a good exercise for us to do on lease rides. As well as doing short hand gallops and bringing him back to a nice canter because that turned out to be really helpful doing the line on Saturday, it was a two-to-a-two with the middle jump being the largest one. We did pretty good, definitely better than last week when we were trotting into a grid that was made up out of a bounce, a one stride to a two stride. I think that exercise could have gone a lot better if we had been able to canter in because it just doesn't feel like there's enough power and momentum at the trot, but we did it decently a couple times.

Can I eat that?

Tongue!

Pet me!!!

I Swear I am Actually Back This Time [pictures!]

I have set my goal that I will post something with two days of a ride. Preferably sooner because otherwise I'll forget what I wanted to say.

I'm still riding Wolfgang and he continues to be perfect! Some more of his back story:
He used to be a chuck wagon race horse and when he was twelve his current owner (at least I think it was her) started jumping him.

So with him there is really no major thing that needs to be worked on, so I've been a bit lazy with our lease rides. Like we do more than just bum around but I haven't been actively trying to plan what we are going to do. We have done a couple no stirrup rides which have actually gone quite well, I try to do a bit every other lease ride, I don't want to hurt his back or anything and to much could probably do more harm than good to my position as well! When we've done no stirrup work in lessons K always said my leg looked great, so that is exciting! I guess with him most of our work would be to help my position over jumps as well as getting him on the bridle. He does it really well sometimes, he was great to the right at the trot on Saturday but not so much to the left. Transitions and things like turns on the forehand. Canter poles were also a suggestion from K but there hasn't really been anything in a lesson that she's really said "you need to work on that during a free ride". I should ask her...

Look at that face! He's so cute I can't stand it

Trying to eat the camera...

These are from our first trail ride in September or late August, he was actually really good but he started to get a bit prancy on the way home. He was better the second time when we were with two other people but he kept trying to kick out at J's horse Duncan if he was ever behind us. They're pasture mates and turns out Duncan is kind of an ass hole, so  that probably had something to do with it. But once Wolfie was in the back he was fine.

More Sad News

I have a nice post about Wolfgang complete with pictures, but I'll but that one up in a bit.
 The owners of the stable have decided to sell it as K is sick and it takes so long to sell barns here (the last one took 1.5 years) that they didn't want to leave it the last minute.  They're hoping to sell turnkey and hopefully no one will have to leave or anything. It sounds like they are selling their horses with the property, which includes Rocky, who is about 20 years old, with a slightly swayed back, bench knees and bucks when you use to much hand (so not a great lesson horse). I'm worried that a new owner may not want a pasture puff like him and want to sell, and can you tell me who would buy a horse like that? Probably no one good. So I'm trying to save a bit of money just in case a new owner does want to sell him because I dread the idea of him going somewhere he won't be loved because he really is such a wonderful horse and he deserves to have a good retirement and not end up on a kill  truck or who knows where.
So yeah, we'll see what happens.

I'm back...and have a new horse!

meet Wolfgang:
16.3hh, 16yrs old, TB

picture isnt so good but I have more to post soon! Going to see him tonight, so i'll try and get some them! But he's absolutly perfect and I love him to bits already

Last weekend was the Canada Day long weekend, and on one of those nights, some absolutely horrible person made the decision to drive drunk and ended up killing one of the young women from the barn.
She was the kindest person I have ever met, she dedicated her life to helping others. She had an MA in psychology and she worked for the local sexual assault center helping survivors. Lessons with her were always fun, she had such a great sense of humor. She had her whole life ahead of her and so much to look forward to, but now it's just all gone.
It's so devastating and it doesn't even feel real. When I read what happened all I could think was "that can't be right, I just saw her not even that long ago walking Percy at the show!" it was right though. So because of some complete moron, a wonderful, incredible person has lost her life.
RIP, we all miss you.

Shawn & Flooding

I rode Shawn last Thursday and even though he was good, better than expected actually, it didn't really feel like anything special.

We were inside due to the recent ridiculous amounts of rain we've been getting here, something like 21 out 23 days in June have been rainy. He's feels so slow that I always find myself wondering if we're actually going to be able to make it over. We did though, every time.

Sunday I went to Maple Leaf to watch L take her greenie over the hunter X poles at her first jumping show. She did really well, and L didn't have any broken bones like she got in the dressage show earlier this year.

Tomorrow we're doing another Goldylocks lesson, about bodily awarness to know if we are behind, ahead or with the motion.
On a unrelated note, central Alberta has survived the awful flooding that has happened in the south (for now). Our river did rise and people living near it where warned of potential flooding. But the south has just been hammered.

Canmore is smallish mountain town a short ways out of Banff, with this small creek that runs through, my uncle owns a town house a short walk up the hill from it and due to this rain the creek has risen so high it's washed away parts of the banks and damaged houses all along its banks. Someone even said in their news interview that the damage won't be covered by the insurance companies, even though this is the type of the disaster that would fall under the "act of 'god' ", you would imagine.
This is what the creek normally looks like:





 And this is it last week, slight farther down stream:







This house is right along Cougar Creek, that's its deck hanging off of it, all the land around it has been washed way completely. 


 The Calgary Stamped grounds. They have said that "come hell or high water" the stamped will be  going ahead and the city is asking to borrow buses from other cities because the water has fucked up the LRT tracks and they will have to be completely redone.

Edmonton Journal: Timeline of Alberta Flooding
Calgary Floods Before & After photos
"9 Uplifting Moments from the Alberta Floods" (Naheed Nenshi is Calgary's mayor)
The floods in 20 photos
Bow River floods Siksika First Nation Communities
Calgary has a huge zoo that it's along the river, so they were really worried about flooding and their plan for the big cats low lying pens was to take them to the court house and use their holding cells to keep them in. Luckily, they didn't actually have to do that.

Goldielocks Jumping w/ Zander

I looooove Zander!! He was fantastic on Thursday when we were outside. I was expecting him to be pretty crazy because sometimes just riding in the outdoor ring can change everything, but he was great! He sort of reminds me of Pony when he gets going and not like Java who gets head strong and suddenly you don't have any breaks left. He is easier to trust than Java as well, for whatever reason I still can't figure out.

Our first jumping exercise was a "goldielocks" thing where we approached the jump to slow, then to fast and lastly "just right". Zander did really well, we didn't have any chips at either of the incorrect paces so even though they were slightly awkward, they were not terrible. The two warm up courses we did consisted of either left or right circles only. So the circle starts at A goes over 1, completes at A and then down around over 2,3 and down to C to start that last circle over 4.

Small jumps, but I got in trouble a few times for giving to much release over such tiny jumps. Ooops, same problem last time.

When we had to trot to swap leads though he rips his head up, he could knock your teeth out if you weren't sitting up properly, so that's not good. He's saddle must not be fitting properly because he's got one of those awful foam pads underneath it. They just make the saddle even tighter and fit worse, so maybe it pinches or something during the downward transition. But since he's owned by K I don't know what, if anything, I can do about it. we used on Diesel and look what happened with him. Although there's no way to know if that was from the foam pad or not.

Here are the two full courses we did, course one has eleven jumps in it, jump one is the one we practiced different canter speeds over. We started with the warm up circles to the right, then over the 3 strides (we had some problems with getting a good take off over the 2nd jump in it) and then do the circles over the left.

Kokanee news: he has made it home safely to BC and was reunited with Roxy.

I finally took a photo of the tall boots I bought from L, they're just an old model of the Ariat heritage line, sadly I'm going to have to get them stretched and possibly have the calves adjusted because I can't zip them up any more than just under half way. She says they must have shrunk a bit sitting in the cold garage all winter. They are fairly well broke in, so once they fit getting ankle blisters won't be a problem. I hate having such wide calves, it makes trying to find and fit tall boots the biggest pain in the ass.
Now I have to figure out what to do about leasing. It's only an extra $40 a month to get four extra rides, the only problem is work. Having two jobs = having to mangers who seem to go out of their way to screw up plans. ie. Oh, you can't work Thursday evenings because you're at the barn? Here, work the next 3 Thursday evenings in a row plus all the Saturday mornings just to make absolutely sure you can't see your horse! t('-'t) (can you see the little face? the t's are his arms and middle fingers). I'm not so sure if the extra money from the 2nd liquor store is actually worth it. I'll quit by the start of August i think. Maybe I'll be able to get in at least one small local show before fall.

Java and Zander

This last Thursday I had an outdoor (finally!) lesson with Java, and she was alright. She seems to be almost leaning on the bit, and I don't remember her doing that before and I'm not all that sure how to get her off of it. The "give and take" thing only goes so far with her and eventually your fingers are so sore from her pulling that it gets a bit difficult. So I'll have to figure something else out. I'd imagine it has a bit to do with one of her lease girls that L doesn't really like that much. This girl uses way to much have hand and not enough leg, so if Java's bracing against that for her, she'd probably do it for all of us. Its a shame L can't really say anything to her about it, she uses her arms to much because she doesn't have enough core or leg strength but how would you point that out to someone?
She was also fairly good for jumping, even got a right to left lead change, which is pretty exciting! We did struggle a bit to get the right lead though, she was hell bent on having her neck bent to the left, so it was really frustrating, but in the end we did get it. The point of the jump course was "to look where you're going" like turn your head in the air to look. There was only 3 jumps to start with and in the end we added a  forth, all verticals, which is nice. Cross rails get a bit boring since they're usually pretty low.

During the warm up each jump had a set of trot poles going perpendicular to them so that we had to get through those to force us to look where we were going and help but not cutting to close and then getting a bad distance. The hardest turn was to get from 3 to 4 so that horse would have a chance to get both eyes on the jump and actually have some depth perception. Java and I only missed it once but never got quite straight to the center and usually jumped at an angle, which as K said is fine, so long as you don't try and turn them in the air, just keep the straight diagonal.

I rode Zander last Saturday (indoors) and he was actually perfect. I don't think he could have done better, which was great since the last time we were together was in January and that was a disaster! Our only problem was a run out in front of the oxer (number 4) but that was my fault for getting a bad turn and chipping in to 3, not pushing forward enough through the four stride and leaning forward a bit a few strides out from 4. Other than that he was amazing. Unlike Java, who gets really head strong, Zander "get's his engine under him" as K says and just goes for it! Despite riding Java a lot more often than him, I've been a bit wary of her and I'm not sure why, but he was much easier to just trust and believe he could and would do it. (i have very little reason to think differently with Java, but there's just been something different since I got back that has made jumping with her a bit less comfortable than it used to be. So that's weird.) He's almost a bit like Pony when he really gets going that makes him a lot of fun.  I was hoping to have ridden him on Thursday but one of the girls who was supposed to be there was going to ride either him or Gody, so I had Java. And work usually prevents me from riding on Saturday mornings, so I'll probably be riding Java until July when the schedule changes and we can riding during the day during the week.

This is Zander's course, it was a make your course lesson. Number 5 was actually a white fan jump, which Zander didn't even blink at, which was excellent! Java doesn't like white poles, so that wouldn't have been so good with her.

Back to the barn...maybe?

I emailed K tonight to ask about any open lesson times for this Thursday, fingers crossed there is. According to her blog there's a lot of no stirrup work this week, and I am so out of shape, that's going to suck ass. But the worst academic year of my life is over, so now I have lots of time tonged back in shape! Hoping not to ride Kokanee. But we'll see. Based on what happened last time, I'm going to give it another shot and go from there. I'm trying to find some pictures of one of the first horses i took lessons on at RBR, Stinger, since I have news about him.

400 books

Unfortunately things have been very busy lately, so I've not been out to the barn. I bet you're very surprised to hear that! Or not since I haven't been there for ages and almost every post has been about why I haven't been the barn.

It's now the end of classes for this semester, finally!! As this has been the year from hell. I've got three exams left and a term paper. One class that I already wrote a final in, has the option of doing a paper as well and if you do it they will swap the paper mark for the lowest midterm mark (but if you do even worse on the paper, you still get the paper mark). I was going to do it, but now I'm not, because I just do not care anymore. So the end of term means moving again. I used to think moving was fun, and the first time it was. But now it is tedious and boring and I hate it. If it was somewhere cool, like Europe or Australia then it would be excellent again. I've brought a few things home already, four boxes of books (none of which are textbooks, just books for fun). They get to come home first because they are the most important. I counted all the books I own and it's over 400, I would have never guessed that. Combined with moving and studying is work. Which I loath. I'm almost considering quitting, but I also really, really hate job hunting and training. But the manager is out sick for at least another week, so I can't talk to her about hours, I need at least 20+ per week in order to actually stay. Sadly, we have to many people and small number of total hours per store, so she might not be able to do that. I could have counted on the old manger to give me all the hours I wanted, because she played favorites and because I was the only non-dumbass employee, I was the favorite! This one, doesn't do that sadly, plus pretty much everyone working in the store now, is not a dumbass.

As far as switching barns, not to much luck with that. The barn I found ages ago and really liked, ZR, is listed on all the show jumping barn directories, but their website is down and it's been down for a long time, so I don't know if that means the directories haven't changed but that they've gone out of business or what. Anyways, I hope to be able to ride again in May. For now I've just been going to the gym to try and get in a bit of shape before going back, plus once the snow is gone I get to go cycling again and I get a new bike this spring, so I'm excited for that.

Oh, and because the manager is out sick, gets who has to work on the Mane Event weekend? Me. Even though theres other people to do it, but now the schedule is up, so no one will trade. I will get some revenge, petty as it maybe. They always call me when they are sick and need some one to cover, but I won't. At least the next time they ask anyways. So I don't get to go see the George Morris clinic or any of the really cool dressage ones I wanted to watch as well. :(

Excuses

^^^^^^^^^^ is why I didn't get to ride last week. We got over a foot of snow in less than 24hrs last Thursday, and I had no wish to travel on the highways. But now we have spring weather!! And the geese are back, hooray. I didn't ride the couple weeks before I think because of midterms? Yesssss, I think that was one of the weeks and then the other week was because I had a paper due the next day on Karl Marx's commodity fetishism theory, yaaaay for sociology! Actually, I like that class, out the 5 I have this term, it is one of 2 that I like (and attend). Then I was going to ride this Thursday, but I've been having a whole bunch of problems with the university, and that day was especially bad for it so I didn't feel like getting screamed at in a lesson. I miss leasing because there was at least one ride a week that was quiet and you could do whatever you wanted, and that would have been perfect for that day. I'm not sure if I'm going to lease this summer or not anymore. I really wanted to because I wanted to show, but it seems that was all just a pipe dream. As for looking for a new barn, if I'm actually going to do that, it won't be until this summer after exams are finished at the end of April. I didn't get out to watch the clinic either this weekend, which I'm disappointed about, I really wanted to go watch a bit of it. Friday I had to work (time and a half for working a stat holiday! Customers always bitch that we have to work on those days, even though they apparently need to buy our stuff...but they're my favorite days to work, I get paid so much more!) then Saturday, my parents were getting back from their trip so I had to spend the whole day cleaning the house.
I don't know if I'm going to ride next Thursday or not, I sort of want to, but also not. The last time was just sooo terrible, and the few before were not spectacular either. :(

Moving Barns & Clinics

[here's your warning for some explicit language]

I had another ride with Kokanee today, that was not good. But based on how the rest of the day was going, that wasn't exactly a surprise.

Me and him are just not a good match anymore, we were ages ago after Rocky, we did well enough together then, but not anymore.

We yet again did not have a proper course, we had an exercise thing that involved lead changes over ground poles. We actually had very little trouble picking up the left lead in the corners today, so that was nice. However, we never really got a good rhythm going between us, so all the jumping felt off, it WAS off. Not in sync, bad distances, etc. We had very little success doing the warm up exercises over the poles to do the lead changes. The only one that he got was the left to right and he got it BEFORE the pole so that didn't count and of course K wasn't that pleased about it. Well at least he fricken got one, that's more than I expected. He was really good doing the leg yields though! K said she thought that maybe he was tired from the lesson he was in yesterday because he'd been getting more lead changes then. Maybe. She does that a lot, makes excuses for them. Saying he's tried from working the other day, is fine and totally acceptable, but more often than not I hear things like "oh that was really good! It probably helps that he's done it 8000 other times this week" Gee, thanks! That makes me feel really fucking great about my abilities! Then we go on to do the full gymnastic with jumps and poles. Two and five on the picture are the poles. As I was going around the arena corner to wards 6 and 5, we were supposed to go to 5 but then K said "yellow", and I was like what? we'd already got the correct lead (the wrong lead, but it was correct in that it was what we were supposed to change to over the pole) and for some reason I thought she meant for me to go over the yellow jump, so we did. JUST KIDDING! THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE WANTED! I was so pissed, because I knew the course! So she was being very condescending and I wanted to shout that I knew the course but she said "yellow" which made it sound like that's where she wanted me to go! Don't talk about the course when I'm doing it, or at least wait until I'm not going right passed you and won't hear, thus resulting in fucking up the course and being made to feel like an idiot. So that was fun, feeling thoroughly stupid, I went to move Kokanee off the wall so the next girl could go, at the same time he went to stretch his neck, so of course it looked like I was ripping on his face for stretching his neck, I WASN'T TRYING TO DO THAT, so then I got yelled at for that too. Love it. Fantastic. A really, really great ride.
This happens a lot, getting yelled at or being made to feel stupid. I don't think she actually wants you to feel that way, because she's actually really nice, and I know there's a lot of crazy-ass, genuinely mean coaches out there. But it still happens a lot, even before I took that break from riding last term.

The other thing is, I really just don't feel like I'm learning anything from her anymore. It has been just over 8 years at this same barn and I've talked about the plateau before, but after today, I think we've reached a bit of a tipping point. Unless another W/Pony situation happens along then there's no way to go forward, we are stuck. Stuck on lesson horses that sometimes have potential to go far and jump high, except being lesson horses, they need longevity and K doesn't want them going above like 2'6" I think it is. With higher heights or a horse like Pony or Spencer, where there's lots of insanity or things to work on, it's different because there's lots of opportunities to learn and grow, but we're done now. It's basically flat lined so, I'm thinking, fairly seriously about finding a new barn. I've looked around on the internet for a few after Pony left and the one I really liked is a 45min drive away. There's a barn, literally a 30min WALK from my place in the city, what could be better?! Well, unless you have your own horse, it's really only a place for beginner students. There's a few of their old students at the barn I'm at now. I hate moving barns though, you have to make new friends and figure out how they do things and all that sort of stuff. Plus, it's been 8 years! It's a bit hard to leave after that.

I'm not going to be leasing Java, I'd have to pay for the lease plus lessons (which are expensive now) so that sucks ass. Speaking of Java, I'm buying a pair of tall boots from her owner! Hooray, I love tall boots, they're some really nice Ariat ones, they don't quite fit, so we're going to get them stretched a bit at the tack shop and then they will hopefully be good to go!

The barn is hosting a Dale Erwin (not to be confused with the natural horsemanship guy Chris Erwin) clinic in April (or March, I don't even remember) and I'd quite like to go, but he's soooo expensive, and I'd have to take fucknut Kokanee (that was his nickname when I liked him and we got a long, it's meant nicely). So I don't know what's going to happen with anything right now, but I can say that I am very much regretting having gone back to riding this semester as of tonight.

There's nothing worse than feeling like and practically being told that you suck ass at something you have spent your whole life work on and love so much.

I actually had a dream last night about competing in a few of the A level shows that I was thinking about doing this summer and had the most crippling nerves in the dream and then woke up because they were so intense and it was hard to go back to sleep because I was actually really nervous.