Excuses

^^^^^^^^^^ is why I didn't get to ride last week. We got over a foot of snow in less than 24hrs last Thursday, and I had no wish to travel on the highways. But now we have spring weather!! And the geese are back, hooray. I didn't ride the couple weeks before I think because of midterms? Yesssss, I think that was one of the weeks and then the other week was because I had a paper due the next day on Karl Marx's commodity fetishism theory, yaaaay for sociology! Actually, I like that class, out the 5 I have this term, it is one of 2 that I like (and attend). Then I was going to ride this Thursday, but I've been having a whole bunch of problems with the university, and that day was especially bad for it so I didn't feel like getting screamed at in a lesson. I miss leasing because there was at least one ride a week that was quiet and you could do whatever you wanted, and that would have been perfect for that day. I'm not sure if I'm going to lease this summer or not anymore. I really wanted to because I wanted to show, but it seems that was all just a pipe dream. As for looking for a new barn, if I'm actually going to do that, it won't be until this summer after exams are finished at the end of April. I didn't get out to watch the clinic either this weekend, which I'm disappointed about, I really wanted to go watch a bit of it. Friday I had to work (time and a half for working a stat holiday! Customers always bitch that we have to work on those days, even though they apparently need to buy our stuff...but they're my favorite days to work, I get paid so much more!) then Saturday, my parents were getting back from their trip so I had to spend the whole day cleaning the house.
I don't know if I'm going to ride next Thursday or not, I sort of want to, but also not. The last time was just sooo terrible, and the few before were not spectacular either. :(

Moving Barns & Clinics

[here's your warning for some explicit language]

I had another ride with Kokanee today, that was not good. But based on how the rest of the day was going, that wasn't exactly a surprise.

Me and him are just not a good match anymore, we were ages ago after Rocky, we did well enough together then, but not anymore.

We yet again did not have a proper course, we had an exercise thing that involved lead changes over ground poles. We actually had very little trouble picking up the left lead in the corners today, so that was nice. However, we never really got a good rhythm going between us, so all the jumping felt off, it WAS off. Not in sync, bad distances, etc. We had very little success doing the warm up exercises over the poles to do the lead changes. The only one that he got was the left to right and he got it BEFORE the pole so that didn't count and of course K wasn't that pleased about it. Well at least he fricken got one, that's more than I expected. He was really good doing the leg yields though! K said she thought that maybe he was tired from the lesson he was in yesterday because he'd been getting more lead changes then. Maybe. She does that a lot, makes excuses for them. Saying he's tried from working the other day, is fine and totally acceptable, but more often than not I hear things like "oh that was really good! It probably helps that he's done it 8000 other times this week" Gee, thanks! That makes me feel really fucking great about my abilities! Then we go on to do the full gymnastic with jumps and poles. Two and five on the picture are the poles. As I was going around the arena corner to wards 6 and 5, we were supposed to go to 5 but then K said "yellow", and I was like what? we'd already got the correct lead (the wrong lead, but it was correct in that it was what we were supposed to change to over the pole) and for some reason I thought she meant for me to go over the yellow jump, so we did. JUST KIDDING! THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE WANTED! I was so pissed, because I knew the course! So she was being very condescending and I wanted to shout that I knew the course but she said "yellow" which made it sound like that's where she wanted me to go! Don't talk about the course when I'm doing it, or at least wait until I'm not going right passed you and won't hear, thus resulting in fucking up the course and being made to feel like an idiot. So that was fun, feeling thoroughly stupid, I went to move Kokanee off the wall so the next girl could go, at the same time he went to stretch his neck, so of course it looked like I was ripping on his face for stretching his neck, I WASN'T TRYING TO DO THAT, so then I got yelled at for that too. Love it. Fantastic. A really, really great ride.
This happens a lot, getting yelled at or being made to feel stupid. I don't think she actually wants you to feel that way, because she's actually really nice, and I know there's a lot of crazy-ass, genuinely mean coaches out there. But it still happens a lot, even before I took that break from riding last term.

The other thing is, I really just don't feel like I'm learning anything from her anymore. It has been just over 8 years at this same barn and I've talked about the plateau before, but after today, I think we've reached a bit of a tipping point. Unless another W/Pony situation happens along then there's no way to go forward, we are stuck. Stuck on lesson horses that sometimes have potential to go far and jump high, except being lesson horses, they need longevity and K doesn't want them going above like 2'6" I think it is. With higher heights or a horse like Pony or Spencer, where there's lots of insanity or things to work on, it's different because there's lots of opportunities to learn and grow, but we're done now. It's basically flat lined so, I'm thinking, fairly seriously about finding a new barn. I've looked around on the internet for a few after Pony left and the one I really liked is a 45min drive away. There's a barn, literally a 30min WALK from my place in the city, what could be better?! Well, unless you have your own horse, it's really only a place for beginner students. There's a few of their old students at the barn I'm at now. I hate moving barns though, you have to make new friends and figure out how they do things and all that sort of stuff. Plus, it's been 8 years! It's a bit hard to leave after that.

I'm not going to be leasing Java, I'd have to pay for the lease plus lessons (which are expensive now) so that sucks ass. Speaking of Java, I'm buying a pair of tall boots from her owner! Hooray, I love tall boots, they're some really nice Ariat ones, they don't quite fit, so we're going to get them stretched a bit at the tack shop and then they will hopefully be good to go!

The barn is hosting a Dale Erwin (not to be confused with the natural horsemanship guy Chris Erwin) clinic in April (or March, I don't even remember) and I'd quite like to go, but he's soooo expensive, and I'd have to take fucknut Kokanee (that was his nickname when I liked him and we got a long, it's meant nicely). So I don't know what's going to happen with anything right now, but I can say that I am very much regretting having gone back to riding this semester as of tonight.

There's nothing worse than feeling like and practically being told that you suck ass at something you have spent your whole life work on and love so much.

I actually had a dream last night about competing in a few of the A level shows that I was thinking about doing this summer and had the most crippling nerves in the dream and then woke up because they were so intense and it was hard to go back to sleep because I was actually really nervous.

Kokanee

Kokanee is no longer lame, so I got to ride him. That was rather disappointing for three reasons: 1. I wanted to ride Gody, 2. I thought she mentioned Rocky while she was listing off horses (sadly she actually said Roxy) 3. I don't like him all that much.

He used to be my lease horse ages ago, which was okay, except for it being the biggest pain in the ass to get his left lead. No matter how many times you ask correctly, it's almost always a fight. Plus he usually has to be in the corner, so thats a no go for any hunter and dressage show.

It was not the best lesson, he hasn't jumped in a few weeks, if not a month, so then he was very excitied to jump. Unfortunatly, the jumps possed zero challange to him because they were fricken 18" or something miniscule, so he could just leap over them however he wanted, if they'd been like 2' or so, they would have been a hight he actually respects and that would have held him back a bit and made him think. It was quite difficult to try and contain him and keep him rounded up and in good form. At the lower heights he can really pop you out of the saddle and make it hard to stay with him, it also doesn't help that I haven't got much core strenght after all that time off, so that didn't help. He wasn't horrible about the left lead, but he wasn't good about it either.

Then we had the worlds lamest fall ever. It was one of the ones that wasn't a surprise but you still can't stop it, all you can do is just try and land in the least painful way, if not land on your feet. Sadly, I wasn't able to land on my feet, because as i was falling I was trying to get not let my foot get caught in the stirrup. Not that it matters with him because he stops and stands when you fall off. Actually, all my horses with the exception of Pony, stopped. She would take off like a maniac, she was getting better the longer we were together, she wouldn't run as far or as fast. She probably would have learned to just stand there if she hadn't been taken away. What happened was we were supposed to come to a trot after one of the jumps, but the whole night he would stick his head out and shake it from side to side so we had to also say things like 'whoa' or 'trot' or whatever to get him to listen. Unfortunatly he pulled me forward and off balance with all his head wiggling and then when I did say 'whoa' he came to a screetching hault rather than breaking to a trot and so then I fell off. So lame. Falling off should have a good exciting story, usually it does, but not this time.

I'll have to start working out more, that always helps.

Tack Shop & Show Season

 K is organizing a barn party for Saturday, but because I have return to my hell hole job this weekend, I can't go. Normally I wouldn't be to put out, but they're planning what shows they want to go to this year! Someone said she already has a list of some shows up in the barn, so I'll have to check that out. Only the super newbie students are going to the one that me and Spencer went to over the summer, which sucks because it's soooo easy, its practically a guaranteed ribbon, even if it isn't a red one (red is first place in Canada, and blue is second). I don't know what that means for the rest of us though. I'm sure Amberlea is going to be on that list and I really would like to go to one, so that is kind of exciting, even if it is going to be a terrifying circuit show, full of circuit bitches. They have a novice rider show at the start of July, Harvest in September, Spring Welcome at the end of April and a few schooling ones before that. I don't know if I'd have a lease by the end of April, and that show will probably be huge since its at the start of the season. Then there's the Maple Leaf ones which start in March but we probably wouldn't be going until the May ones. Those can't be the only ones...K does a lot of dressage so there's going to be loads of those. Gody did well in dressage with a leaser last year...maybe we could take a stab at those...

The problem is though, who am I actually going to get to lease?! I will NOT be taking Zander to anything like Amberlea. I don't mind riding him at home, but I don't want to show him. Fairly sure that Rocky's show days are over and who the hell knows if he's going to come out of retirement at all this summer. Gody takes soooo much work and we could really only do hunters (and maybe dressage) but probably no jumpers, he's just not got the speed. Then there is the option my friend is gunning hard for, for me to lease her mare. Ahhhh! Okay, I love this mare! She's a gem, and she won her division at Amberlea, she's calm, and so willing and tries so hard! I just don't know if I want to lease from someone who's a friend, I feel like it would just be awkward. However it would also really help her out because one of the two girls leasing her is fucking ruining her. She's literally "pulling a W" (W was Spencers owner) and is fucking up this amazing horse, because she doesn't know what the hell she's doing. So if she was dropped from the lease, then I could ride her and the other decent girl could stay leasing as well. That is not to say that I am some amazingly talented rider or anything, but I am better than the other chick and the girl who owns the horse has repeatedly expressed her wish that i would take over the lease. However, the fact there is another girl leasing her is a bit of a problem, while she hasn't said anything to the owner about wanting to show her, we are kind of assuming she'll want to do something with her. So the only two really good options (at least for showing) are Gody (hunters/dressage(?)) and my friends horse (jumpers). I guess it's kind of a wait and see thing, but I just want to know now, that way I can decide what shows/what kind of shows to do...if any at all.  

Sadly today's trip to the tack shop was actually not that exciting, just got some black hairnets because i have one of those ribbon/net things that you fold a pony tail into and I hate it, and some boring black breeches from TuffRidder, who I also don't like (it was them or Kerrits, apparently they no longer carry EquiComfort *tear*), but they are cheap and i don't want to spend lots on them when they'll (hopefully) be to big soon. I did look at some of the nice leather half chaps but my calves are to wide for them right now :( plus I realllllly want proper tall boots, so best not to waste to much money!

Checked out some hunt coats to because the one I have fits a bit weird and if I do hunters this season I'll need one, no luck there either, so I'll have to go on an adventure to some of the other stores I guess and see what I can find.

P.S. me and Zander got the 3rd fastest time for pushing the red ball through the pylons last Thursday.

Zander

So I figured since I have no steady mount, I may as well take advantage and ride as many different horses as I can (and find the best possible candidate for show season). However, if Gody had been an option yesterday, I probably would have picked him.

Zander is basically the polar opposite of Gody, he's very wiggly, has lots of pep, and doesn't need the encouragement Gody does. He carries his head really high in the air, which is really annoying and it's difficult to get him to go on the bridle (or so I found anyway). With him, the more rein you use, the more leg you have to use, which does make sense but I've not had a horse that you have to do that for when you're just asking them to round up and get on the bridle. It took ages to get him to do it and it didn't often last that long, pretty quickly he'd have his head back up again and K would be shouting to stop trying to use my hands to pull his head down, which was not fucking trying to do. There was zero intention of ever trying to pull his head down, that was him being a dumb ass and lifting up his head, there by putting the bit on the bars of his mouth. So that was frustrating, it feels really weird having to hold your hands that high, and again, not had a horse that does that,  so it takes a bit more that one single ride to work that out. Jumping was not really that great, he feels like fun to ride and unlike Gody, you feel like he's definitely going to make it over! But like I said, he's really wiggly which can be hard to deal with when you aren't used to it and it's really difficult to keep a steady rhythm with him, so counting strides to the jump would start like 3-2-1 and then end up as 3-2-1-4 or 3-2-take off. Frustrating!!! As much as I didn't enjoy the ride I wouldn't mind having a second chance to try and improve from this.

Ugh, sadly I think this is the last different horse I'm going to get to ride. Kokanee is lame and will be going home sooner or later, Rocky is still on winter break, and I'm pretty sure everyone else already has enough riders. So it's most likely going to be Zander, Gody, and Java. Not that much variety, especially when it's only once a week.

Gody

It was actually a couple weeks ago now that I rode Gody, it's midterm time at university, so I don't have much time for anything fun.

I was spoiled with Java, I thought I'd actually not lost that much fitness... JUST KIDDING! I was dying on Gody, my legs have never hurt so badly from riding before, it was exhausting! He takes soooo much work and K's instructions are sometimes conflicting, so you have no idea what the hell she wants you to do. Fun. So we didn't have much success with his lengthened trot or keeping a nice canter, got to start doing some squats or lunges.... We did have a good jumping round however, so that slightly made up for the crap flat work. I would like to have another opportunity to ride him, but we'll see how it goes.
I'm hoping to go see him tomorrow but I have an exam on Friday and because I'm a model university student, I've gone to about 3 or 4 of those classes. Yay. It could be interesting but the prof is so terrible, I always fall asleep so its better to just use the text book.
But once these terrible exams are finally over, I shall hopefully be back out at the barn and will have sometime to start working out again and will not feel like dying when riding a horse that actually require some effort to work with.